I believe that we should intentionally choose daily habits or “disciplines” that will take us where we want to go in life. Each statement below stands for a pattern or habit that I want in my life. Some of the statements get more focus or effort than others, but over the years, they all have become the habits that help me create the life I want for myself.
1. Smile more, let yourself be happy and avoid negative people when possible.
2. Ask not what others can do for you, but what you can do for them.
3. Forgive others, forgive yourself, and learn from every mistake.
4. Always focus on self-improvement but keep it simple.
5. Live your life with passion, enthusiasm and purpose.
6. Be there for others, you could be someone’s hero.
7. Live in the moment and be grateful for it.
8. Do not put things off and never give up.
9. Always give more than you promise.
What do you want your life to look like? If you do not like how life is responding to you, you may need to look in the mirror. It is not about other people changing; it is often about you changing. I encourage you to choose a few simple, positive habits that will enhance your life. Reduce them to simple actions that you will be able to perform every day. It has often been said, “You reap what you sow”. So, get out there and plant a seed, you will get back more than one seed, you will get back thousands!
Showing posts with label self improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self improvement. Show all posts
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Monday, December 27, 2010
Happy New Year - Good Bye 2010 Blog
1. I will try to exercise more regularly.
2. I will try to get more sleep in the coming year because 3-4 hours a night is about to do me in.
3. I will try to drink more water. I think I need to break my McDonald’s Sweet Tea and Starbuck’s Sweetened Green Tea addiction.
4. I will try to recycle more and be mindful of my footprint on this Earth.
5. I hope to do writing/blogging that is more meaningful in 2011.
6. I plan to say, "I love you" or “I appreciate you” every day to those that matter.
7. I want to be a better person. That means I will be more open and more introspective. I will listen more, preach less and lead with smaller steps rather than huge leaps.
8. Lastly, I look forward to the New Year with promise and hope.
I hope when you take time to reflect back on the past 12 months as I have, you will find happy thoughts and pleasant memories. New Year's Day means to me that we all have a fresh start with our goals and resolutions. It means that we have more chances to do the things we have always wanted to do. It means yet another year to spend with our loved ones and our friends. I am wishing you all a safe and wonderful New Year. Happy New Year!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
"Old Age" is a Gift
The other day a little boy asked me how I felt about being old. At first, I was taken aback because I do not think of myself as that old. Then I realized that it was an interesting question and I decided to ponder it and write this blog. It is my birthday on Monday and I am entering my 45th year on this planet!
To start with, I would never trade my friends, my life, or my family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I get older, I am finding it easier to be positive. I care less about what other people think. I do not question myself as much because I have earned the right to be wrong occasionally. I try not to reprimand myself for eating an extra cookie, for not making my bed, or for buying yet another pair of shoes that I did not need. I am entitled to treat myself, to be messy, and to be extravagant from time to time. I have seen far too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair sprinkled with gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
Yes, sometimes I am forgetful. Then again, some of life is just as well forgotten, but eventually I do remember most of the important things! Sure, over the years my heart has been broken many times. Nevertheless, broken hearts are what give us strength, understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. You see, as I have aged, I have tried to become kinder to myself and less critical at the same time. In reality, I have become my own friend.
I have decided that “old age” is a gift and I am now, probably for the first time in my life, on the verge of becoming the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body of course! I sometimes still anguish over my physical appearance - the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and yes, the saggy butt. Many mornings I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my parents), but I do not agonize over it very long. So, to answer that little boys question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I am becoming. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting on what could have been, or worrying about what will be.
To start with, I would never trade my friends, my life, or my family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I get older, I am finding it easier to be positive. I care less about what other people think. I do not question myself as much because I have earned the right to be wrong occasionally. I try not to reprimand myself for eating an extra cookie, for not making my bed, or for buying yet another pair of shoes that I did not need. I am entitled to treat myself, to be messy, and to be extravagant from time to time. I have seen far too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair sprinkled with gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
Yes, sometimes I am forgetful. Then again, some of life is just as well forgotten, but eventually I do remember most of the important things! Sure, over the years my heart has been broken many times. Nevertheless, broken hearts are what give us strength, understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. You see, as I have aged, I have tried to become kinder to myself and less critical at the same time. In reality, I have become my own friend.
I have decided that “old age” is a gift and I am now, probably for the first time in my life, on the verge of becoming the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body of course! I sometimes still anguish over my physical appearance - the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and yes, the saggy butt. Many mornings I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my parents), but I do not agonize over it very long. So, to answer that little boys question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I am becoming. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting on what could have been, or worrying about what will be.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
The Splendor of Fall
The large Maple tree outside my sunroom window has almost shed all of its leaves while others are still sporting the magnificent colors of Fall. As I look out, I am taking a snap shot with my mind and I almost wish I could freeze time to capture these beautiful moments, but then I realize that it is the change itself that makes it so beautiful. Without Nature’s constant change, everything would be the same and the beauty would become dull and lifeless. Much as in our lives, without change and reinvention the splendor would be gone. If we stop changing and improving ourselves, then we lose ourselves into a world of routine and monotony. Sometimes we need to let our leaves fall, knowing that they will reemerge all the more vibrant again. So as the leaves are falling, I am cherishing these moments as they come and go.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Self Awareness
I believe we were put on this planet to master life. However, I know the only way to master life is to master ourselves first. Lately, I have had many days where I have felt tired and burned out and moments when I wanted to wave a white flag petitioning the powers that be for a brief respite. On some days, I felt as though I have lived an entire week in one day. These feelings have caused wear on my physical, mental and emotional being. This awareness has caused me to explore the need to be honest with myself, feeling the pull to connect to the truth, and feeling the need to step off the hamster wheel. I know who I am because acceptance is the key, honesty is my tool, and my feelings are my guides.
I believe that women are the most generous of givers. We live to give and give to live. This compulsion is often to the point of complete exhaustion. Lately, I have been wondering why I am compelled to give so much of myself freely. Through generosity and hard work, I try to give to all those around me – and do so without replenishing my own soul. Realizing this, I need to make myself a priority. Rather than standing in a space of critical and harsh self-judgment, I need to soften toward myself. I need to understand that each personality trait and every quality that resides within me serves a greater purpose. Although I may not be able to see it now, one day I will realize that every one of the qualities that I judged or labeled as wrong or bad is a blessing waiting to be realized. I also plan to give myself one small indulgence each day. For example, instead of running around meeting everyone else’s needs, I am going to take some time to sip my morning tea listening to the birds with my face upturned to the sun. I plan to breathe deeply and give myself the gift of stillness. I will also work on becoming a great receiver of all that I want in life instead of waiting for someone else to fulfill the need within me.
I have learned that I do not want to tip toe through life so that I can arrive safely at my death. There is an ominous stillness in the water between the waves and when we need to regroup. I need to remind myself to move into the still, peaceful waters behind the wave and lie on my back and look at the sky and rest. May we all find our place on the wave of life and ease onto it with grace.
I believe that women are the most generous of givers. We live to give and give to live. This compulsion is often to the point of complete exhaustion. Lately, I have been wondering why I am compelled to give so much of myself freely. Through generosity and hard work, I try to give to all those around me – and do so without replenishing my own soul. Realizing this, I need to make myself a priority. Rather than standing in a space of critical and harsh self-judgment, I need to soften toward myself. I need to understand that each personality trait and every quality that resides within me serves a greater purpose. Although I may not be able to see it now, one day I will realize that every one of the qualities that I judged or labeled as wrong or bad is a blessing waiting to be realized. I also plan to give myself one small indulgence each day. For example, instead of running around meeting everyone else’s needs, I am going to take some time to sip my morning tea listening to the birds with my face upturned to the sun. I plan to breathe deeply and give myself the gift of stillness. I will also work on becoming a great receiver of all that I want in life instead of waiting for someone else to fulfill the need within me.
I have learned that I do not want to tip toe through life so that I can arrive safely at my death. There is an ominous stillness in the water between the waves and when we need to regroup. I need to remind myself to move into the still, peaceful waters behind the wave and lie on my back and look at the sky and rest. May we all find our place on the wave of life and ease onto it with grace.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Personality Profiles
Personality profiles have been around for a long time. Some of the ones you may be familiar with are Meyers-Briggs and StrengthsFinders. There is also another tool called Flippen that the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has just recently begun using. The Flippen profiling processes is for Leadership Development and this tool enables supervisors and employees to identify personal constraints that hold employees back from moving from “good to great”. Constraints are not a bad thing…we all have them. Once you take the personality profile, you are then coached by one of the Flippen coaches on your personality constraints that you need to work on. This tool is meant to help people understand their constraints and to establish a plan to overcome them.
I am trying to keep an open mind about the Flippen profile but I had a negative experience related to my results in how they have been reinterpreted back to me by a fellow employee. Again, we need to remind ourselves that personality profiles are only a single tool that should be used with other tools when making employment decisions and when evaluating ones personality, strengths, and constraints. These profiles should not be used in such a way as they are seen as the only tool when decisions are made (especially without all the facts). People are not machines and varying personalities are good in the workplace. Understanding how all those personalities fit together can sometimes be challenging but also rewarding.
I am trying to keep an open mind about the Flippen profile but I had a negative experience related to my results in how they have been reinterpreted back to me by a fellow employee. Again, we need to remind ourselves that personality profiles are only a single tool that should be used with other tools when making employment decisions and when evaluating ones personality, strengths, and constraints. These profiles should not be used in such a way as they are seen as the only tool when decisions are made (especially without all the facts). People are not machines and varying personalities are good in the workplace. Understanding how all those personalities fit together can sometimes be challenging but also rewarding.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Power of Positive Thinking
In previous blogs, I have written that I believe in the power of positive thinking. I know that my thoughts both negative and positive have powerful effects on my life. As a rule, I try to start my day with positive thinking. I try to think about all the blessings in my life, even if it is just for a few minutes. I do this every day in the morning, especially on workdays. You should try it. It may seem weird at first, but with practice, having the ability to have positive thinking will give you a tremendous payout as your day unfolds.
When a person participates in negative thinking, it always leads to inaction and loss of personal power. Having a positive perception and thinking will always lead to action and an increased personal power. Yet, we always seem to choose the negative side by default. I guess we can blame it on our society or on the negative conditioning we may have received during our childhood, but you need to remember that there are always two sides to every situation. The hard part is learning how to separate those two sides called fact and perception.
When faced with a problem, I try to ask myself the right kinds of questions about the situation, because it can often guide my thinking to the positive side. For example, instead of asking yourself “Why does this always happen to me?” whenever something negative happens to you, try asking yourself the following types of questions instead:
• What kinds of things can I learn from this situation?
• How can this situation help me grow as an individual?
• What is the best part about this problem?
• In what ways can I benefit from this situation?
I have always found that asking the right questions enables me to have the power to reframe the situation easily so I can use it to my advantage. If you use this process, you will see that from one small event and the use of positive thinking, you can think of multiple future rewards and gain better perspective when problems arise.
When a person participates in negative thinking, it always leads to inaction and loss of personal power. Having a positive perception and thinking will always lead to action and an increased personal power. Yet, we always seem to choose the negative side by default. I guess we can blame it on our society or on the negative conditioning we may have received during our childhood, but you need to remember that there are always two sides to every situation. The hard part is learning how to separate those two sides called fact and perception.
When faced with a problem, I try to ask myself the right kinds of questions about the situation, because it can often guide my thinking to the positive side. For example, instead of asking yourself “Why does this always happen to me?” whenever something negative happens to you, try asking yourself the following types of questions instead:
• What kinds of things can I learn from this situation?
• How can this situation help me grow as an individual?
• What is the best part about this problem?
• In what ways can I benefit from this situation?
I have always found that asking the right questions enables me to have the power to reframe the situation easily so I can use it to my advantage. If you use this process, you will see that from one small event and the use of positive thinking, you can think of multiple future rewards and gain better perspective when problems arise.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Happiness - My Secret
It was no surprise to me that I received some heat from a few friends concerning my last blog about being a workaholic. While I admit this can be a bad thing for some, it truly is not a problem for me but I must admit I am always working at finding the correct balance for work and happiness. Work is not the only thing that defines me but it is extremely important and it would be silly to think otherwise. However, work does have its place and must fit comfortably in the big plan with my personal self and my family self. I have been told that in order to die happy, one must live a life with that end in mind and they must live a life of purpose in order to be truly happy. However, that is easier said than done.
How do you define happiness? It can mean different things for different people. For me, I know that money cannot buy happiness, but society often acts as if they would be happier with more money in their wallets. We have been conditioned to want to be rich, when we know the wealthy are not any happier either! Our society is always looking for the latest gadget or style that is available, and we desire to earn more money because we feel that only then we will have the “good” life. However, none of this will bring us the true happiness we are all looking for, because no matter how much we earn, no matter how much we have saved away in the bank, no matter how nice our clothing, cars or toys, in actuality, none of it will make us any happier. The sad part is that it could take many of us decades of pursuing fame and fortune before this is ever realized.
So how does one find happiness? Here are my three secrets to happiness and they do not cost a thing. First, having good, supportive friendships or a close and loving relationship with your family helps make us more likely to be happy. We all have the human need to be close and to be intimate with other human beings. Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members and friends will make us much more likely to be happy. So make time to spend quality time with your loved ones (virtual friends too), tell them what they really mean to you, listen to them, and develop your relationships. Secondly, do not discount the power of positive thinking. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their lives, and have a more positive outlook on life. I have written in a previous blog that I am an optimist, so I am a huge proponent of positive thinking as the best way to achieve your goals, but it turns out that it can lead to happiness too! Try to make positive thinking a habit. Condition yourself to banish negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Instead of having an “I can’t” attitude, think, “I can”. I know this may sound too easy and may even sound corny, but it has worked for me every time! Lastly, find something that you are passionate about and immerse yourself in it. Once you find work and leisure that gets you into a good state of flow, it will always lead to happiness. Find a job, volunteer work or anything that you are passionate about and discover selfless service. Go ahead, turn off the television, get outside and do something that truly engages you. I find my greatest enjoyment not when I am passively mindless, but when I am absorbed in a mindful challenge.
How do you define happiness? It can mean different things for different people. For me, I know that money cannot buy happiness, but society often acts as if they would be happier with more money in their wallets. We have been conditioned to want to be rich, when we know the wealthy are not any happier either! Our society is always looking for the latest gadget or style that is available, and we desire to earn more money because we feel that only then we will have the “good” life. However, none of this will bring us the true happiness we are all looking for, because no matter how much we earn, no matter how much we have saved away in the bank, no matter how nice our clothing, cars or toys, in actuality, none of it will make us any happier. The sad part is that it could take many of us decades of pursuing fame and fortune before this is ever realized.
So how does one find happiness? Here are my three secrets to happiness and they do not cost a thing. First, having good, supportive friendships or a close and loving relationship with your family helps make us more likely to be happy. We all have the human need to be close and to be intimate with other human beings. Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members and friends will make us much more likely to be happy. So make time to spend quality time with your loved ones (virtual friends too), tell them what they really mean to you, listen to them, and develop your relationships. Secondly, do not discount the power of positive thinking. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their lives, and have a more positive outlook on life. I have written in a previous blog that I am an optimist, so I am a huge proponent of positive thinking as the best way to achieve your goals, but it turns out that it can lead to happiness too! Try to make positive thinking a habit. Condition yourself to banish negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Instead of having an “I can’t” attitude, think, “I can”. I know this may sound too easy and may even sound corny, but it has worked for me every time! Lastly, find something that you are passionate about and immerse yourself in it. Once you find work and leisure that gets you into a good state of flow, it will always lead to happiness. Find a job, volunteer work or anything that you are passionate about and discover selfless service. Go ahead, turn off the television, get outside and do something that truly engages you. I find my greatest enjoyment not when I am passively mindless, but when I am absorbed in a mindful challenge.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Getting Motivated - Again!
Have you ever had a time when your organization system went to pieces, and your email inbox had hundreds of messages sitting there, not acted upon? Too often, we are hard on ourselves and feel bad about our lack of progress. We feel guilty that we have missed a couple of phone calls, or that our progress on our workout goals have stalled, or that we slipped up and have eaten some really calorie laden stuff! Well, that has been me lately. About writing my blog, I simply have not taken the time to write and did not know what I really wanted to write about. So last night, I updated my Facebook profile and it finally motivated me to want to write again today.
For me, the key was to step back and look back on what I have already done. Sure, I missed some phone calls, going to the gym, and missed a few weeks from writing, but look at how much I have already done! So, instead of beating myself up, I decided to celebrate my success, no matter how small. Yes, I will always feel a little guilty about what I have not done, but I feel that it is important that we remind ourselves that it is only a temporary setback so that we will see this as only a small bump on a long road. There I go again; my optimistic view on life is creeping back out again!
For me, the key was to step back and look back on what I have already done. Sure, I missed some phone calls, going to the gym, and missed a few weeks from writing, but look at how much I have already done! So, instead of beating myself up, I decided to celebrate my success, no matter how small. Yes, I will always feel a little guilty about what I have not done, but I feel that it is important that we remind ourselves that it is only a temporary setback so that we will see this as only a small bump on a long road. There I go again; my optimistic view on life is creeping back out again!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Life Is Too Short - Enjoy It!
How do you see life: through the eyes of an optimist, through the eyes of a pessimist, or through the eyes of a realist? This week, I had an epiphany. I finally acknowledged that I was an optimist but I like to be viewed as a realist. Although, sometimes I let pessimism get in the way of achieving my goals because my outlook on things is readjusted to fit the circumstances that life brings my way. You see, we really have characteristics of each in us, but one is more dominant.
Mostly I see the world as a grand opportunity with people, who like me, also are not perfect. I believe in the power of positive thinking and try to see the bright side of most situations. I am perhaps too positive at times, and downright silly, but that is better than being bitter and feeling like life has passed me by. For me, things do work out better this way and I am a much happier person for it. I truly want to see the good in people and situations and often am accused of wearing rose-colored glasses. Being happy really is a choice that has brought me many rewards.
We are only living on this earth for a short while and I have realized, yet again, how short life can be, how perilous our existence really is and how important it is to keep the extraneous garbage at bay. I am excited when I think about the possibilities that 2010 will bring. Life is too short to not enjoy it, so my goal is to savor and enjoy the journey and not to always worry about the destination.
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” - Winston Churchill.
Happy New Year
I wish for courage and strength for those serving in harms way. Our men and women of our armed forces represent the true heart and soul of America. We are blessed to have soldiers and commanders who are committed to the mission of making a better Iraq and Afghanistan. Wishing for peace on earth and wishing all a Happy New Year.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Goal Setting for 2010
The year 2009 is almost over and a new decade is just a few days away. If your inclination is to look at last years resolutions and just change the date, you are wasting your time. If you do not even bother planning for the New Year, you are begrudging yourself of the chance for creating the life you really want. This is the perfect time for all of us to make achievable resolutions, goals, declarations, intentions, plans, wishes, or whatever you want to call them.
During this time of year, I also like to look back across my life and review all things that I have already accomplished. No matter who you are, we all have accomplished many things for which we should be thankful. Yes, it has been a tough year, but we all have a lot to look forward to despite the economic outlook. What are the most important things to you in your life (family, money, security, or fun)? Do you even know? I am talking about values. Our values guide our life and the decisions and choices we make. Often, life takes a turn and we are not living congruently with our values. Being out of sync with our values creates undo stress in our life. So, go ahead and reevaluate your values before you decide on your new goals for the New Year. An old adage says, “Plan your work, and work your plan.” That is especially appropriate when you are setting goals.
You have everything you need to make your goals happen. You have the answers and wisdom within yourself to know the truth for your own life. We all are in a time of change, so this is a perfect time for you to live your life according to your own values — to create what you want for yourself. Surround yourself with the people you love and who support you no matter what, and you will achieve your goals for 2010! It is possible--start NOW!
During this time of year, I also like to look back across my life and review all things that I have already accomplished. No matter who you are, we all have accomplished many things for which we should be thankful. Yes, it has been a tough year, but we all have a lot to look forward to despite the economic outlook. What are the most important things to you in your life (family, money, security, or fun)? Do you even know? I am talking about values. Our values guide our life and the decisions and choices we make. Often, life takes a turn and we are not living congruently with our values. Being out of sync with our values creates undo stress in our life. So, go ahead and reevaluate your values before you decide on your new goals for the New Year. An old adage says, “Plan your work, and work your plan.” That is especially appropriate when you are setting goals.
You have everything you need to make your goals happen. You have the answers and wisdom within yourself to know the truth for your own life. We all are in a time of change, so this is a perfect time for you to live your life according to your own values — to create what you want for yourself. Surround yourself with the people you love and who support you no matter what, and you will achieve your goals for 2010! It is possible--start NOW!
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