Happiness - My Secret

It was no surprise to me that I received some heat from a few friends concerning my last blog about being a workaholic. While I admit this can be a bad thing for some, it truly is not a problem for me but I must admit I am always working at finding the correct balance for work and happiness. Work is not the only thing that defines me but it is extremely important and it would be silly to think otherwise. However, work does have its place and must fit comfortably in the big plan with my personal self and my family self. I have been told that in order to die happy, one must live a life with that end in mind and they must live a life of purpose in order to be truly happy. However, that is easier said than done.

How do you define happiness? It can mean different things for different people. For me, I know that money cannot buy happiness, but society often acts as if they would be happier with more money in their wallets. We have been conditioned to want to be rich, when we know the wealthy are not any happier either! Our society is always looking for the latest gadget or style that is available, and we desire to earn more money because we feel that only then we will have the “good” life. However, none of this will bring us the true happiness we are all looking for, because no matter how much we earn, no matter how much we have saved away in the bank, no matter how nice our clothing, cars or toys, in actuality, none of it will make us any happier. The sad part is that it could take many of us decades of pursuing fame and fortune before this is ever realized.

So how does one find happiness? Here are my three secrets to happiness and they do not cost a thing. First, having good, supportive friendships or a close and loving relationship with your family helps make us more likely to be happy. We all have the human need to be close and to be intimate with other human beings. Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members and friends will make us much more likely to be happy. So make time to spend quality time with your loved ones (virtual friends too), tell them what they really mean to you, listen to them, and develop your relationships. Secondly, do not discount the power of positive thinking. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their lives, and have a more positive outlook on life. I have written in a previous blog that I am an optimist, so I am a huge proponent of positive thinking as the best way to achieve your goals, but it turns out that it can lead to happiness too! Try to make positive thinking a habit. Condition yourself to banish negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Instead of having an “I can’t” attitude, think, “I can”. I know this may sound too easy and may even sound corny, but it has worked for me every time! Lastly, find something that you are passionate about and immerse yourself in it. Once you find work and leisure that gets you into a good state of flow, it will always lead to happiness. Find a job, volunteer work or anything that you are passionate about and discover selfless service. Go ahead, turn off the television, get outside and do something that truly engages you. I find my greatest enjoyment not when I am passively mindless, but when I am absorbed in a mindful challenge.