Mentors - Part 2

I have been chewing on what mentoring means to me for the last few days, trying to massage my thoughts into some intelligible form. While I still struggle with validation at times, what I desire from a mentor is different. I want their suggestions on how to handle differing situations, recommended avenues for development, challenging and stretching, sometimes correction and sometimes just a nod and a smile. The one component of apprenticeship I crave the most is the opportunity to observe my mentors performing in their vocation. I enjoy watching these experts doing the things that make them the experts in their field like talking with customers, sharing their ideas in a meeting, hiring, firing, and all the grit of leadership and management that comes in-between. This is absolutely critical for me in learning how to be successful in business. For me, having the opportunity to observe my mentors modeling the various components of whatever vocation they are experienced in, and which I aspire to, is an indispensable component of passing on knowledge.

Role Models, Mentors and Friends

Every time that I start to feel sorry for myself, I think of all the stuff I have been through, put up with, survived, sacrificed, and accomplished. Whether I like it or not, the choices I have made or stumbled upon have made me who I am today. However, I have had a few good mentors, role models, and friends help guide me through this journey we call “life”!

I must admit that sometimes we do not recognize our true role models, mentors or friends until years later when we have noticed our own personal growth and progress. During my lifetime, I have had numerous role models and mentors. Some have reminded me what was really important in life, some have encouraged me to think and use the power of my voice, and some have dared me to make a difference. Each mentor and role model has taught me more about myself even when I did not want to listen. A role model to me is someone who not only treats me as an equal but also is honest, trusting, and most of all open-minded.

I believe the best roles models and mentors make us see the possibilities within ourselves. In the late 1980s, I had a supervisor, Commander Greg Lotz (USN-Ret.), who inspired me to try to live up to my potential. What he did was pull me aside one day and pointed out to me that I was “way smarter than my current job as a secretary” and that I needed to go to college in order to reach the potential that he thought I was capable of. I did not take his advice right then, but it gave me quite a boost and started me thinking and paying more attention to my career and goals in life. In the 1990s, I had another supervisor, Commander Greg Abbott (USN-Ret.), who also pointed out to me that I was hiding behind mediocre jobs instead of doing what I really wanted in life--helping others. He made me realize that I needed to be an advocate for myself and that I needed to take leadership on the issues that I believed in.

Lately, I have been privileged to have two very valuable role models and mentors named Colonel Tom Magness and Colonel Jeff Ryscavage. Their counsel and friendship have proven valuable to me and I have been influenced by the vitality and passion that they have in their lives and in the lives of others that they have touched. Their valuable insight, compassion, tenacity and humor often convinced me that the light at the end of the tunnel was not a speeding train! When I asked for advice, they always seemed to have time to listen, offered advice, challenged my perspective, and sometimes even redirected my efforts.

I am at that “40-something ponder my life stage” and I have come to the realization that I do not have traditional cookie cutter mentoring relationships. I like to call the above relationships episodes of spontaneous mentoring and role modeling. They have occurred because someone opened a discussion about how I was doing, asked me about my projects, suggested possibilities for handing career issues, and so on. If they had not asked me why I was not in college, told me that I was being mediocre, or not taken interest in my daily life, I do not think I would be as successful as I am today. Their input has had profound positive effects on me and my career and will for many years to come.

I truly believe that in order for a mentoring relationship to move beyond thriving to blooming, that there must be an equal flow of admiration and respect. I have been very fortunate to have had several mentors, role models, and friends that have taken an interest in my success. While the above list is not fully inclusive of all of them, their support and guidance continue to this day. I am eternally grateful to all for sharing their lives and I credit this dramatic turn around in my life to the time and effort of these individuals who mercifully helped me when I needed it. As the old saying goes, ‘when the student is ready, the teacher appears’. They all have appeared the moment I was ready to receive their wisdom.